It's a good thing that my son has a girlfriend at the same college that he goes to, because if he didn't, I would never hear from him ever again.

He does have a telephone in his room, but he and his roommate aren't ever there to answer it. They are with their girlfriends if they are not in class. and I don't have his girlfriend's number.

My son does have a cell phone, but his cell phone can only get a signal when he is carrying it outside the dorm building. 

So unless I have some prior knowledge as to when he expects to step out of the building and call him before he gets to class, I can't reach him by cell phone either. 

Chances are, since nobody but me ever calls him on his cell phone, and as far as he knows, I never have called him, he probably leaves his cell phone in the dorm when he goes out. That, of course, lessens even further the chances of me talking to him.

I could mail him a letter, I suppose. He doesn't check his mailbox but once every three months or so, but at least I could get a message to him:

“Honey, I just wanted you to know that I miss you!”

Then he would finally call three months later.

“Are you feeling sad, mom?”

“Who are you and what are you talking about?”

“It's me, mom. Your letter said you missed me.”

“Oh, that. Your gerbil had babies, your cat died, and your collection of old sneakers had taken up residence in my closet because we had guests using your bedroom for a week. But that was three months ago. I really needed you, then.”

“I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, mom.”

“That's okay. All is well now. The cat ate the gerbil babies and then he keeled over. I think the mother gerbil must've poisoned him. 

“Oh, and your bedroom might still have the slight aroma of Ben-Gay when you come back. I washed the sheets and blankets, but the smell kind of permeated the walls. Our guests had arthritis, apparently. Who knew?”

“So, you?re okay, now?”

“Yes, I”m fine, now, but thanks for calling. I forgot what your voice sounded like. You sound a little like your father.”

Needless to say, mailing a letter to him is not a truly viable option. E-mailing would work to get a message to him. Unfortunately, if he doesn't write back within a day or so, I start having nightmares about aliens taking over the school and my baby boy being used as their next experimental specimen.

It's a five-hour drive to that college, but it's not far enough away to keep me from driving there if my imagination gets the best of me. My son is six feet, five inches tall and build like a brick outhouse, but when does a child stop needing his mom?

His girlfriend being at the same school keeps me from acting like a total idiot, though, at least where he is concerned. Because she has the same chromosome as I do, she understands the consequences if he doesn't write back to me. She is my last line of defense. Just before I start packing, I e-mail his girlfriend, and she lets me know everything is just fine and that she'll tell my son to respond. 

That's all I really need to hear. Even if he never e-mails me back, I know that he is still on this side of the grave and doesn't need a blood transfusion from a close relative.

My son doesn't need a telephone, cell phone, or a mailing address. He doesn't use a any of them. 

Laura Snyder may be reached at lsnyder@lauraonlife.com