And I forgot to turn the calendar to November! Forgot to turn the clock back, so we showed up for church that Sunday an hour early. Empty parking lot!
I started out to clean the oven last weekend, but when I opened the cabinet under the sink to get the oven cleaner, I noticed the furniture polish, so I thought I'd dust the coffee table, but when I got to the table, I saw Hubert had left his pipe in the ash tray, so I went to put it back in the rack, and noticed the pictures of the grandkids was an old one, so I went to get a newer one for the frame....
I never did get the oven cleaned!
And Hubert went out the other morning to get an extension cord from the shed and didn't get back into the house until about 3 that afternoon. Without the cord!
We were sitting around half watching Oprah the other afternoon, and she had a chef on the show. I looked at Hubert, and he looked at me, and we both asked at the same time: “What did we have for lunch?”
The answer was plain. We forgot to eat! And I've been salting the soup two or three times, plus Hubert's been backing up in the car without looking behind him.
Hubert just kind of waves this off and says it don't matter, since nobody knows but us that we're acting crazy, that we've lost a few bricks from our first load.
I did call Elvira about it, and we talked for a while before we got off on how the cemetery up at Good Shepherd just looked ragged and with winter coming on, it'll probably stay that way till spring. Then Elvira got off on this new outfit she'd got on sale, and how she didn't realize until she'd got home that she already had a new fall outfit, so she didn't know if she'd go to enough places to wear both of them.
Anyway, it got worse and worse as both of us were forgetting what we'd forgot. Elvira thought it was funny, but I didn't, so when I went to see Dr. Njenj (I can remember that because it's a strange name, plus I can match the sound of it with an old cash register.) to get my blood pressure prescription filled, I asked him about forgetting everything.
He said a strange thing: “You're not forgetting too much, you're trying to remember too much.”
Anyway, what did I sit down here to write about this time? I had it at 2 o'clock this morning when I got up to go to the bathroom, but it's left me now. I guess I have too much to remember. I'll write about whatever it was the next time, okay?
Here's Hubert's 2 cents worth:
I've managed to marry the biggest worry-wart this side of the Pecos!
It's just plain as the nose on your face that there's too much to remember, so you drop the small stuff and hang on to the tried and true. It's like that old song my dad used to sing from World War II. I forgot the title, but the words went, “Accentuate the positive and don't mess with Mr. In-between...”
By the way, I didn't forget the extension cord! By the time I found it, it was up in the day and we didn't need the heater I was going to use the cord to plug in. When it's dumb to see something all the way through, get flexible enough to go on to something more important. Simple!
And here we are, nearly at the end of this month's piece and nothing's been said that could be called news! Sorry about that.
We were standing in line to get our flu shots over at the grocery store, where, if there ever was a place to have an express line, that was it, when I ran into Waylon Stamper, who told me his prize coon hound had been stolen.
Who would do a thing like that? I asked, but he didn't have a clue. Said the dog often didn't come in from a hunt for a couple days, but it had already been two weeks. Way thought it was being used in some kind of scientific experiments, but I told him if it was, the experiment had nothing to do with animal intelligence.
(I timed my comment so that they stuck the needle in Way's arm just as I told him what I thought of his hound, so I know he's coming up with a good one on me to spring when there's a crowd at the All-You-Can-Eat Cafe. He won't forget, either.)
But there is some kind of sad news. Grover and Minnie (She spells it Mini now.) Tapley had a fire out on their ranchette. It started in the kitchen around the stove, probably when a pot of beans boiled dry, but it nearly burned up everything they had and what they have left is so full of smoke and bean smell that they'll have to throw it away.
The Good Shepherd Church membership is collecting stuff for their new doublewide, and it looks like there will be enough to fill a quadruplewide, because everybody is finding all kinds of things that they had put away or set around and forget they had. Grover said that's mostly what burned. -- Hubert and Pearly Jean Boneset, your local correspondents
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