Author Clydean Cooper fondly looks at the pages of the book she dedicated in memory of her husband Ben Cooper
In the recently published book “A Lot of Love to Give”, local author Clydean Cooper tells the story of a battle with a deadly disease that takes the life of the man she respected and loved.
She writes of the moments that last in her memory as she watched the horrifying disease take over the mind and body and eventually take the life of her husband.
With this book Cooper hopes to add comfort to others who struggle with personality- altering disease and first hand insight to the daily struggles in her attempt to understand and deal with a sickness that only can be endured by the Grace of God.
When Clydean Cooper met her future husband Ben she never dreamed many years later she would become a published author, telling the story of his battle with Alzheimer’s disease.
Though they were friends for many years, Ben and Clydean did not marry until many years later and packed a lifetime of memories into their 14-year marriage.
“When Ben and I met, I never dreamed one day we would be married nor that I would write a book and get it published,” said Cooper. “We had an ideal marriage filled with respect, shared values and goals, and an enjoyment for life.”
The couple met in 1975 when they were both employed by Hewlett Packard in Colorado Springs. He was married to someone else and she had never been married but working side by side their friendship grew and lasted over the remaining years of their life.
“My admiration and respect for him was constantly reinforced by the way he handled his responsibilities on the job and even more by his approach to family matters,” said Cooper. “We found that we had much in common and agreed on so many things, which is really surprising since we were so very different.”
When they met, Ben, who was black, was happily married with eight children, had a military background and had traveled a lot.
“He was musically talented and well read and was likeable,” said Cooper. “I was just the opposite. White, never married, no children, mostly self educated, insecure, opinionated, and defensive. I do not know what made us friends but it surely happened.”
In 1987, his wife passed away and Ben continued to show his strengths as he managed to hold the family together being both mom and dad to their teenage daughter as well as keeping the family together through the loss.
He retired in 1990 and she retired in 1991 but their friendship continued even though she moved from Colorado back to Grayson County with her nephew.
“From there we continued our friendship with calls, visits and letters,” said Cooper. “ Then on February 4, 1995 we were married. That decision, though we were a long time getting around to it, was made on a heartbeat, because we both knew it was the right thing to do.”
Over the next 12 years the couple moved to Colorado, and then to South Carolina, finally settling back in Grayson County after he is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.
“ I think at first we noticed problems of confusion and losing the train of thought but neither of us were willing to address the issue,” said Copper. “On July 28 of 2006 I made an appointment with the doctor and even though I had suspected something major was wrong, I was not prepared for what she found. Hearing the diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease was the hardest thing I had ever faced or dealt with until that time.”
In the book Cooper tells of the daily struggles and the complications that disease had on both their lives and how she coped with each day’s crisis. Through her story she offers advice to others who are dealing with a similar situation with an insight that few can offer.
“The biggest thing is never quit talking to your loved one even though may quit talking back,” said Cooper. “He may not always answer but he is always listening and interaction with other people is so very important.”
A percentage of the proceeds from the book will be donated to Hosparus-Hospice of South Central Kentucky.
Copper encourages anyone facing this type of illness to call upon all the resources available.
“My relationship with God helped me in my daily struggles,” said Cooper. “ I shall never forget nor cease to be grateful to the Hosparus-Hospice of South Central Kentucky for the wonderful help they gave us. The staff eased my worries and ministered to Ben with such tender care.”
Cooper can be reached at (270) 242-2065 to obtain copies of “A Llot of Love to Give.”
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